quinze: rien.

I used to feel scared, but now I just feel nothing.

I'm quite surprised at myself. After watching Fight Club the other day my brain was in Chuck Palahniuk mode, i.e. I was coming up with witty bitter one-liners, and surprisingly I didn't blog any of them. Probably because they were rubbish. Go figure.

But anyway, I hadn't seen the film before. I'd read the book obviously. I don't know, it's quite confusing, especially the very veryy last bit, but it's still good somehow. But Invisible Monsters will be my favourite, forever and ever. I wish I could write a book that brilliant.

I'm going to go and play my guitar. I feel motivated, which is quite good, but I still need a job and I still want to go back to college, even though it means I'll have to face my results.

It's funny, accomplishments are supposed to make you happy, but they just make me feel relieved.

quatorze: nerveusement.

I just cleaned the bath with a cloth, some Cillit Bang and a bit of charm. Job well done.

There's a big cloud hanging over my house, and it's not metaphorical in the slightest. Yesterday was like the weekend, i.e. really sunny and reallyy warm, so I sat outside with my book. Which reminds me, I finished that volume of Daphne du Mari er, ending with Frenchman's Creek [eughhh] and My Cousin Rachel [pretty good]. Now I'm reading that parody of Harry Potter, you know, Barry Trotter. It's quite funny actually, but completely stupid and ridiculous. Luckily I've just ordered the Iliad and Wicked [it was a book originally y'see] from play.com to counter this stupidity.

But anyway, for once in my life I've been quite enjoying sitting out in the sun, and now I can't. Hopefully the cloud will have disappeared by the time I've finished this, because otherwise I'll just have to watch another episode of Skins. Ohhdear.

To be fair, it was supposed to rain all day today, and not just last night, so it's not too bad. I just hope that the weather stays nice for a bit longer, as I might be off out and about this week.

Results in just over two weeks. I remember having more nightmares about my GCSEs but feeling less sick than I do about my A/Ss. They really count if I really want to go to Oxford. Which I do.

People just assume that I'll be fine.

treize: au bord de la mer.

I've seen enough of the Lancashire coastline to last me a lifetime.

Last weekend, it was Blackpool. Yesterday, St Annes, which was a lot less boring than I anticipated. Today, we went to Southport, which was very nice and plus I got a really nice skirt from Primark of all places.

The sun has finally come out, at last.

The other night I watched American Gangster, which is truly a great film. Last night I watched Clueless, which is also truly a great film. I've seen it about 2839652937485632 times, and it never gets old. Never.

I love Last Choir Standing, to be honest. The one from Oxford who sang Spiderman last night were absolutely genius.

douze: le batman.

Heath Ledger was absolutely magnificent.

It is simply wrong that he's gone. Batman was great, but not because of Batman. It was because of the Joker, who was scary yet strangely alluring all at once.

Highlight of the film? The Joker asked the real Batman to stand up [I actually just typed barman, haha], and some guy in the cinema actually did. Ohh my days, we found Batman at last, and no, it isn't Bruce Wayne. Amateur.

Afterwards, we went back to Aaron's, crossing Deathville a.k.a. the really really scary part of Burnley, near where Emily's dad works. I don't even know where it is really, I just followed and whimpered.

I've had three people tell me now that there's a job going at Oddies. To be honest, I'm still hoping for just some temp work, and hopefully I'll get some soon from good old Jobsearch.

Emily's dad has a swish car, but it does nothing for my hair.

Today I'm going driving, he said we're going to do a mock test. I do not want to do a mock test, I really really don't. I'm trying to forget about doing my practical, even though I had hopes of passing it before I go back to college. I have until September, so I think I have a good chance I suppose. But I like to not think about the things I'm scared about. Or the things that I can't change.

Sometimes I wish I could change most things.

onze: court.

I am tired of getting my hopes up and feeling completely and utterly useless.

dix: la musique.

I now have pretty much the entire Hairspray soundtrack.

I'm sorry, but it's just absolutely amazing. John Travolta's voice ain't half weird though, I suppose it's because he's trying to sing like a woman. Just guessing.

Today I watched the very first two episodes of SATC. Now that was weird. Carrie kept on talking directly to the camera, which made me feel more than just a little bit uncomfortable. I did my best to just eat my noodles whenever she did that.

My dad just thought I was singing Good Morning Pokemon. BALTIMORE JEEZZ

Anyway, speaking of Hairspray, I'm developing something for Zac Efron. I blame Aaron. At my cinema, they now have a big cut out of the cast of High School Musical 3 to match the poster that we all posed next to. It's pretty impressive, unlike our obsession. But I am fair excited for this film, I've seen the trailer, and so has my dad, and we both think it's hilarious. It looks like the funniest yet. Because that's the only reason why I watch these films...

I'm not as cool as I make out, obviously.

Though I try. Instead of watching Hannah Montana re-runs, I decided I'm going to watch Skins series 2 again, and I also found Sugar Rush on TV Choice on Demand, one of the only perks of having Virgin Media. Thanks Mr Branson for taking my Sky One away, by the way. It's quite good, but just a little bit uncomfortable.

I reallyy like the new last.fm. They have my entire library ready for me to listen to, which means that I can practically listen to my entire iTunes library [and anything else I've ever listened to] on my laptop. This is very handy indeed.

Tilly and the Wall are fabulous.

I had a good guitar lesson today, even if I looked like a cartoon character. That damn C chord is still fair annoying though.

neuf: rouge.

I was visited by Jess today.

She came to drop Emily's present off, seeing as she probably won't be seeing her until she comes back from her holiday. And she can't come and see The Dark Knight [sighh, Heath!] with us on Thursday due to work and weddings and things.

Anyway, we talked for about an hour before she drove off back home just to check that her little sister hadn't burnt the house down or something. Fair enough I thought, and went back to watching the SATC movie for the second time.

Yesterday the parents and I went to Blackpool.

The weather is getting increasingly nicer, but in Blackpool it was incredibly windy. I had foolishly decided to wear a skirt [though with tights, because it wasn't that warm though it was sunny]. I had a lot of fun [!] trying to make sure that my skirt stayed exactly where I wanted it to stay. I.e. on my legs and not in the air.

The new jacket I got from the Monsoon sale is to die for. Well, maybe that is a bit extreme, but it is lovely lovely lovelyy.

I have just been for a walk on the canal with the parents. They would never let me walk on there alone, even though I'd like to, during the free time I have during the days. Jess understands this, and I guess I do too, because there are some scary people around here and there are even more scary people around the canal.

I never thought I would suit red, being ginger and all, but I fair do. Bonus.